And Slaters Go Plop

Keeping with the theme of quirks of the English language, here’s one courtesy of Steven Pinker’s The Language Instinct:

This one requires a lot of scene-setting, let’s start with,

Cats whom dogs chase like to eat mice.

which can be shortened to,

Cats dogs chase eat mice.

We can place the cats, dogs and mice in locations:

Christchurch cats Dunedin dogs chase eat Masterton mice.

What if there is no chasing or eating, just bullying?

Christchurch cats Dunedin dogs bully bully Masterton mice.

Why not make them all live in the same town?

Christchurch cats Christchurch dogs bully bully Christchurch mice.

Let’s only talk about cats who are bullied and who themselves also bully:

Christchurch cats Christchurch cats bully bully Christchurch cats.

Let’s move them to the town of Buffalo in the US:

Buffalo cats Buffalo cats bully bully Buffalo cats.

Swap the cats for buffalo instead:

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo bully bully Buffalo buffalo.

And did you know that another word for ‘bully’ is ‘buffalo‘? Let’s do it:

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

There, perfect sense.

This is likely to be familiar to many people. It’s about how the addition of punctuation can turn a seemingly nonsensical set of words into a technically correct sentence, usually with a story to go with it.

So,

There is not enough room between fish and and and and and chips

makes sense when I tell you that a shop owner is telling the signwriter that the words for his fish and chip shop are too close together:

There is not enough room between “fish” and “and” and “and” and “chips”.

Ok then, try to add punctuation to the following to make it make sense:

Jack while Joe had had had had had had had had had had had the teachers approval

Answer below the fold.

(more…)

Earlier in the year my wife and I went along and saw Tim Minchin who is our new favourite comedian. This is my new favourite Christmas single.

From the new They Might Be Giants kids’ album, Here Comes Science.

Fight!

Sal and I like to avoid TV shows while they are, er, showing on TV and, instead, like to get them out on DVD and blob out for days on end without the constant stream of adverts and without the delay of a week between episodes.

For many years, people who’s opinions on films I value greatly have been telling me I really ought to get into Battlestar Galactica (BSG). I’ve never been into watching sci-fi but enjoy the occasional well-written sci-fi novel so it made sense to give it a go. And so we did.

Now, for fans of BSG this is probably going to hurt a little. I apologise in advance.

The coolest thing about sci-fi (as compared to, say, fantasy) is that you sort of have to work within the limits of the known laws of physics which is not all that limiting as it leaves the imagination wide open for some really creative concepts. Sure, some boundaries are overstepped, mainly the whole issue of getting around in this giant universe of ours where almost every sci-fi writer will invoke some form of instantaneous zipping from place to place. But, other than these understandable exceptions, most of the concepts should be plausible.

BSG is a bit quirky in that people still use telephones with cords aboard their space craft but are capable of teleporting willy-nilly across the universe. I quite like this aspect though. It works. It’s also got some interesting interplay between characters. And for those who have not already given thought to what makes a human a human and whether a being that is made qualifies there are some intriguing concepts too. However…

A good friend of mine said “the coolest thing is the way the space fights don’t make any noise!!1!”. But, Simon, they do make noise. All the time. Even their little side-puffers make little side-puffing noises. For frack’s sake, they managed to get this right back in 1968. Perhaps the lack of noise is only in comparison with the skwarking of the fighters in Star Wars but they definitely still make noises in the noiseless vacuum of space in BSG.

And what’s with the fact that every bit of paper has it’s corners clipped? Is the printing ship run by bored-but-OCD staff? I’ve operated a guillotine in a print shop and there’s a very valid reason for why books and other forms of paper have corners.

There is a scene where Lee has landed on a windy and forsaken planet and is dragged along the ground by his parachute, painfully hitting his legs against rocks. He struggles to cut the cords of his parachute and finally manages to do so before breaking any more bones. You can feel his sense of relief. I turned to Sal and said, “well there’s something, if this had been any other cheesy sci-fi he’d have narrowly avoided a massive precipice”. I spoke too soon. Right then the camera pans out and up… strike three, you’re out.

So, I’ve reached the end of season one. Sal abandoned it halfway through but I feel I’ve given it a fair trial.

And in the red corner. We’ve just got out the first DVD of season one of Dexter, we’re only two episodes in and we’re hooked. Dexter is a sociopath (or is that psychopath? I never remember the difference) who lacks feelings but charmingly, yet insightfully, understands the social niceties ordinary people need to get along. Oh, and he butchers people who’ve (literally) gotten away with murder.

I feel a little bad for bagging BSG. It’s got a lot going for it and my frustrations are slightly exaggerated for the sake of the telling. But, alas, it’s up against Dexter for a share of our viewing time and Dexter has neatly dismembered BSG and kept a drop of its blood on a slide as memorabilia.

Dexter wins.

Bathtub IV from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

Here’s a video that has been on the InterTubes for a while now but it’s a good example of tilt-shifting done properly. Well, almost properly; the helicopter during the rescue should have remained in sharp focus as it was on the same plane as the section of water which was in focus. I also like the fact that it’s sped up a bit as it adds to the feeling of the surreal. Nice song too.

Tilt-shifting is a photographic effect where a faraway shot is artificially blurred in such a way as to give it a depth of field effect usually only found in close-up photography. This is because lenses (cameras and eyes) have different depths of field depending on how far away the object is. [A good demonstration of this depth of field effect is to move your head closer to the screen, close one eye and hold your finger up halfway in between your eye and these words. Focus on the words and you'll see that your finger is fuzzy. Now, leaving your finger where it is in relation to the screen, gradually move your head back and you'll see that both the screen and the finger become reasonably sharp.]

When used properly it can produce surreal shots with a hint of cutesy nostalgia.

Now, wind the clock back to the mid-nineties and to the glory days of lens flares.

An often unwanted effect of photography in bright light was that little orbs  (i.e. lens flares) would appear on the photo due to the source of the light hitting the lens directly. It wasn’t long before photo editing programs like PhotoShop realised that some artists were using this effect to give a shiny thing a bit more ‘bling’ and before you could say “Bob’s your sugardaddy” wannabe artists (myself included) were putting lens flares on anything and everything. Including things that didn’t shine. Like fur for example. Want to make your cat look more expensive? Put a big ol’ lens flare on its shoulder.

Return to the present and we have the same thing happening with tilt-shifting.

If you have, say, a photo like the above, the tilt-shift effect works pretty well because when you track vertically up the image the actual horizontal depth of field is fairly consistent. But imagine the same photo where one of the people in the crowd in the foreground is holding up a banner that takes up half of the right side of the photo. Applying a gradual blur-everything-vertically-away-from-the-middle will mean that the bottom of his banner will be blurred (as it should be because he’s in the foreground and the focal point is somewhere out on the field) but the middle of the banner will be nice and crisp which simply never happens in real miniature photography.

The crux of the matter is, inappropriate use of tilt-shifting is exactly as silly as whapping a lens flare on your cat’s shoulder. Learn from my lens flare crimes. Just because it can be done it doesn’t mean it should be done.

I’ve only recently discovered LibraryThing. It’s a website where you build a library of books you own (or have read), rate them and then receive useful recommendations based on what others with similar tastes like.

It’s noice and I loike it. I loike it a lot.